How to Stop Masturbating: A Practical Step-by-Step Plan
Key takeaways
- Masturbation is a normal, healthy part of sexuality for most people, and the research we reviewed doesn't show that it causes physical harm.
- Whatever your reason for stopping or cutting back, a plan for triggers, urges and slips gives you something to do when the urge arrives.
- Compulsive use is defined by lost control and harm rather than by how often you want sex, so check your own pattern honestly.
- Wet dreams are normal and aren't a relapse, and a slip is information to learn from rather than a reason to abandon your plan.
On this page
To stop masturbating, or to stop watching porn and masturbating, set a clear goal, map your triggers, change your setting, plan for urges, build support, and treat slips as information rather than failure.
Masturbation is common and, for most people, healthy. This guide is for people who want to stop or cut back: because it feels compulsive, because it’s tied to porn, for personal or religious reasons, or for a challenge such as No Nut November. If porn is part of the picture too, our complete guide to how to quit porn covers the bigger change.
Is Masturbation Bad for You?
For most people, no. The Cleveland Clinic describes masturbation as a normal, healthy part of sexual development, common across all ages, and says it doesn’t have any serious side effects (Cleveland Clinic). A 2020 survey of 1,063 people recruited from a Reddit discussion, most of whom had tried to refrain from masturbating, noted that there’s a lack of evidence for negative health effects of masturbation (Zimmer & Imhoff, 2020).
The physical downsides the Cleveland Clinic mentions are minor and depend on how you do it. Rough masturbation can cause chafing or tender skin, and doing it too often or too aggressively may reduce sensation. Those are reasons to adjust your technique and frequency, not reasons for shame. For what research says about frequency, see whether it’s bad to masturbate every day.
The better question is whether masturbation is getting in the way of your life. That’s where compulsion comes in.
Signs It Has Become Compulsive
The World Health Organization recognizes compulsive sexual behaviour disorder in ICD-11, under code 6C72 (World Health Organization). In plain words, it means a persistent pattern of failing to control intense sexual urges over an extended period (for example, six months or more) that causes marked distress or harm in your life. Three points matter most:
- Control and harm, not drive. A high sex drive alone isn’t the test. People who keep control and aren’t harmed by their sexual behavior don’t meet the criteria (Kraus et al., 2018).
- Guilt alone isn’t enough. Distress that comes entirely from moral judgment or disapproval doesn’t meet the criteria on its own (World Health Organization).
- Harm to your life counts. The Cleveland Clinic lists missing work, canceling plans and forgetting responsibilities as signs that masturbation may have become compulsive (Cleveland Clinic).
Other signs include trying to cut back and repeatedly failing, or continuing despite harm to your health or relationships. For a more detailed check, read 10 signs of porn addiction. Sessions that stretch for hours, which some people call gooning, raise the same questions, and whether gooning is bad for you comes down to control and cost.
Why Porn and Masturbation Get Linked
When the two habits are linked, an urge for one can set off the other. Recovery journals describe a “chaser effect,” meaning strong cravings for porn that arise after sexual activity (Fernandez et al., 2021). Cravings triggered by cues were a major reason sustained abstinence felt hard for the men in those journals.
Men in the same study took different approaches. Some avoided masturbation mainly as a practical tool to stay away from porn. Others found that total sexual abstinence built up urges, and that a sexual outlet helped them avoid porn. There’s no single right answer, so choose the rule that fits your goal, and check after a few weeks whether it’s helping.
A Step-by-Step Plan to Stop
Work through these steps in order, then return to the ones that matter most for your situation.
1. Set Your Goal
Decide exactly what you’re doing: stop porn and masturbation, stop porn only, cut back, or run a 30-day challenge. Write it as a clear rule, such as “No porn, and no masturbation in bed.” Then decide now what a slip means to you, so you aren’t making that call in the middle of an urge.
2. Know Your Triggers
In recovery journals, electronic media was the most common outside trigger, including dating platforms, social networks, video sites and online ads. Being alone in the bedroom and lying in bed on waking were also named as cues (Fernandez et al., 2021). For one week, note when urges start: the time, the place and how you felt.
3. Change Your Setting
Keep your phone and tablet out of the bedroom, and charge them across the room. Don’t scroll in bed, and be careful with long, unplanned time alone in the shower or bathroom with a screen. If you want extra protection, a blocker is one option, and our guide to how to block porn covers the choices on each device.
4. Plan for Urges
Write a short plan before you need it, such as: “If the urge hits in bed, I’ll put my phone across the room, get up, drink water and do one five-minute task.” Having the steps written down means you don’t have to decide in the moment.
5. Stay Busy at High-Risk Times
Look at your week and find the hours when urges hit hardest, often late evenings, weekends or the time after a stressful day. Fill those hours with things you have to show up for: a workout, a friend, a class or a hobby. For what to do instead, matched to each need, see healthy replacements for porn.
6. Sleep and Exercise
Keep a regular bedtime and wake-up time, and move every day. A 2024 review of 218 trials found that exercise is an effective treatment for depression, and that its effects grew with intensity (Noetel et al., 2024). That review studied depression rather than masturbation, so treat it as a reason to move, not a cure.
7. Build Accountability
Tell one trusted person your goal and check in once a week. In a study of forum journals, the authors found that cognitive-behavioral strategies plus social support made abstinence attainable for many members (Fernandez et al., 2021). TrueAlly’s daily check-ins, accountability features and community can help you stay on track too.
8. Track Your Progress
Each day, note your streak, your urges, your triggers and your mood. Review the pattern weekly instead of judging yourself by one bad day. A simple calendar of streaks can show you progress over time.
9. Handle Slips
Lapses are common. In the same journal study, more than half of the 104 men reported at least one lapse (Fernandez et al., 2021). When a slip happens, note the trigger and what you did next, and restart your plan that day. A slip is information, not proof that you can’t change.
Wet Dreams Are Normal, Not Failure
Wet dreams (nocturnal emissions) happen during sleep, without conscious control, and the Cleveland Clinic describes them as normal and not unhealthy (Cleveland Clinic). Because you can’t choose them, they aren’t a relapse. If one happens during a challenge like No Nut November, keep going with your plan. For more on whether wet dreams count as a relapse, see our dedicated guide.
What to Expect
Quitting can bring cravings, and for some people irritability or low mood. Close to one-third of men in one recovery-journal study described a flatline, a drop in sex drive, while others described stronger urges. Many members also reported positive changes, and some described regaining a sense of control, though these are self-reports. For the withdrawal side, read does porn withdrawal have symptoms. For the drop in sex drive, read our porn flatline guide.
When to Get Help
If urges keep winning, or you feel guilty or worried about how much you masturbate, talk to a healthcare provider. The Cleveland Clinic advises reaching out to one if you feel guilty or think you may be masturbating too much (Cleveland Clinic). A therapist can help with urges and shame, and our porn addiction treatment guide covers the options. If low mood, hopelessness or thoughts of death or suicide come up, talk to a health care provider now (NIMH). In the US, you can call or text 988 at any time.
The Bottom Line
Stopping masturbation, porn or both is your call. The goal isn’t perfection. It’s a life where urges don’t run the show. Pick one rule, one trigger to change and one person to tell this week. If you want daily check-ins, reminders and a community while you do it, the TrueAlly app is free to download, with optional in-app subscription plans.
Sources
- Cleveland Clinic. Masturbation: Facts & Benefits. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/24332-masturbation
- Cleveland Clinic. Are “wet dreams” normal and healthy? https://health.clevelandclinic.org/wet-dreams
- Fernandez, D. P., Kuss, D. J., & Griffiths, M. D. (2021). The pornography “rebooting” experience: A qualitative analysis of abstinence journals on an online pornography abstinence forum. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 50(2), 711–728. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-020-01858-w
- Kraus, S. W., Krueger, R. B., Briken, P., et al. (2018). Compulsive sexual behaviour disorder in the ICD-11. World Psychiatry, 17(1), 109–110. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5775124/
- National Institute of Mental Health. Depression. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/depression
- Noetel, M., Sanders, T., Gallardo-Gómez, D., Taylor, P., del Pozo Cruz, B., van den Hoek, D., et al. (2024). Effect of exercise for depression: Systematic review and network meta-analysis of randomised controlled trials. BMJ, 384, e075847. https://doi.org/10.1136/bmj-2023-075847
- World Health Organization. ICD-11: 6C72 Compulsive sexual behaviour disorder. https://icd.who.int/browse/2024-01/mms/en#1630268048
- Zimmer, F., & Imhoff, R. (2020). Abstinence from masturbation and hypersexuality. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 49(4), 1333–1343. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-019-01623-8
Frequently asked questions
Is it bad to stop masturbating?
No. There's no good evidence that stopping causes physical harm. A 2020 survey of 1,063 people, most of whom had tried to abstain, didn't measure any health effects of stopping, and motivation was tied mainly to the belief that masturbation is bad for your health. Stopping is a personal choice, and you can cut back, pause or stop for any reason that matters to you.
What are the side effects of stopping masturbation?
Research hasn't tested the physical side effects of stopping. Some men in recovery journals said that total sexual abstinence built up urges, and some described unpleasant moods they read as withdrawal. These are self-reports, so they can't show how common they are. If low mood, sleep trouble or sexual problems last two weeks or more, talk to a doctor or therapist.
How do I know if masturbation has become compulsive?
Frequency alone doesn't decide it. The WHO defines compulsive sexual behaviour disorder (ICD-11 code 6C72) as a persistent pattern of failing to control intense sexual urges over an extended period (for example, six months or more) that causes marked distress or harm. Signs include missing work, canceling plans or repeatedly trying and failing to cut back. Guilt alone doesn't meet the definition.
How long do urges last?
No research gives a typical length for a sexual urge, so treat any number you read as a guess. One practical approach is to change activity rather than act on the urge, and to give it a few minutes. Urges can return, so the goal is getting through this one, not never having another. Keep a short list of next steps ready for when they come back.
What should I do when an urge hits at night?
Get out of bed and move your phone across the room or out of the bedroom. Drink some water, do a five-minute task or take a short walk. Try urge surfing: notice the urge, name it, and watch it rise and fall without acting. If you do act on it, don't spiral. Note the trigger, get back to bed when you can, and restart your plan in the morning.
Are wet dreams a problem?
No. Wet dreams (nocturnal emissions) are orgasms during sleep that happen without conscious control. The Cleveland Clinic describes them as normal and not unhealthy, and says there's nothing to worry about. Because you can't choose them, they aren't a relapse and don't mean your plan has failed. If they cause real distress, a healthcare provider can help.
How do I stop masturbating for religious reasons?
People stop for religious or personal reasons, and either is a valid goal. Start by writing your reason in your own words, then build the plan around it: name your triggers, plan for urges, set up support, and decide what a slip means to you. If a faith community, prayer or a counselor who respects your values helps, use it. You don't need to see your urges as a moral failing to get help.
