Porn and Relationships: How It Affects Couples and Marriage

On average, studies link more porn use with lower relationship and sexual satisfaction, but results vary from couple to couple, and most studies can’t show that porn causes the difference.

Most research on porn and relationships comes from surveys, which show links rather than causes. If you’re a partner, our guide to helping someone with a porn addiction covers the wider picture, and our guide to whether watching porn is cheating covers agreements and betrayal.

Porn and Relationships at a Glance

Question	Short answer
Does porn affect relationships?	On average, more porn use goes with lower relationship and sexual satisfaction, but results vary from couple to couple (Wright et al., 2017).
Does it matter which partner watches?	It may. Meta-analyses disagree about whether the link is stronger in men or in women (Wright et al., 2017; Abdi et al., 2025).
Is watching together different?	Watching together goes with higher satisfaction in several studies (Kohut et al., 2021; Willoughby & Leonhardt, 2020). Results for watching alone are mixed.
Does secrecy matter?	In a daily study of 217 couples, people whose solo porn use was unknown to their partner reported lower satisfaction that day (Vaillancourt-Morel et al., 2024).
Does porn affect sex?	In a survey of 487 college men, more porn use went with less enjoyment of sexual intimacy with a partner (Sun et al., 2016).
Does porn hurt marriages?	In US studies that followed married people, porn use went with lower marital quality for husbands (Perry, 2017) and a higher chance of divorce (Perry & Schleifer, 2018). Neither can prove cause.
When is it a problem?	When use feels out of control or clashes with your values (Daspe et al., 2018; Grubbs et al., 2019).
Where can I get help?	A therapist, on your own or as a couple. In a crisis, call or text 988 (the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline in the US), or your local emergency number (988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, n.d.).

How Does Porn Affect Relationships?

On average, more porn use goes with lower sexual and relationship satisfaction, but most of the research can’t show that porn caused the difference.

A 2017 meta-analysis pooled 50 studies with more than 50,000 people from 10 countries. More porn use went with lower sexual and relationship satisfaction in one-time surveys, in studies that followed people over time and in experiments, while people’s satisfaction with their bodies and themselves wasn’t related to porn use (Wright et al., 2017).

A 2020 analysis of 30 nationally representative US surveys, with 31 measures of relationship quality, points the same way. For married and unmarried Americans alike, porn use was either unrelated or negatively related to nearly all of the outcomes, and apart from one unclear exception, it was never linked with better relationship quality. Most of the links it found were small, and the study made no claims about cause (Perry, 2020).

Not everyone sees harm. In an open-ended online survey of 430 men and women in heterosexual relationships where at least one partner used porn, “no negative effects” was the most common answer about porn’s effect on the couple. Among the other answers, positive effects came up often, and negative ones, such as unrealistic expectations, came up considerably less often. Participants were recruited through social media, newspapers and radio, so they may not represent all couples (Kohut et al., 2017).

Why is it hard to be sure? A review by Campbell and Kohut highlighted shortcomings in this research that limit what anyone can conclude about negative, neutral or positive effects (Campbell & Kohut, 2017). The authors of a 2021 couples study add that neither one-time nor follow-up surveys can definitively show which causes are at work (Kohut et al., 2021). The link is worth taking seriously, but it isn’t proof that porn causes relationship problems.

Does It Matter Which Partner Watches?

It may, but the evidence is mixed. Meta-analyses disagree about whether the link is stronger in men or in women, while several couple studies found worse outcomes with men’s porn use than with women’s.

Meta-analyses, which pool the results of many studies, don’t agree. The 2017 meta-analysis found the link with lower satisfaction only in men (Wright et al., 2017). A 2025 meta-analysis of 41 studies, with more than 70,000 participants, found a negative link with sexual satisfaction among women but not among men (Abdi et al., 2025). A 2025 brief report by two of the 2017 authors reanalyzed a recent meta-analysis that had reported the opposite pattern, and again found the link only in men (Wright & Tokunaga, 2025). In the 2020 analysis of 30 national surveys, gender changed the links only occasionally, and not in a consistent direction (Perry, 2020).

Several couple studies point in the same direction. In a 2011 study of 217 heterosexual couples, the more often men used sexual media, a broader term that includes porn, the lower their own satisfaction, while the more often women used it, the higher their male partners’ satisfaction. Men said they mostly used sexual media for masturbation, and women said they mostly used it as part of sex with their partners (Bridges & Morokoff, 2011).

In a study of 617 married or cohabiting couples, men’s porn use went with lower sexual quality for both partners, while women’s porn use went with higher sexual quality for the women (Poulsen et al., 2013). In a study of 240 committed heterosexual couples in the US, men’s porn use went with lower relationship satisfaction for both partners, lower sexual desire in the women and less positive communication from the men. Women’s use went only with higher sexual desire in the women (Willoughby & Leonhardt, 2020).

Because the evidence isn’t settled, the more useful question may be how the two of you use porn, not which of you does.

Is Watching Porn Together Different From Watching Alone?

In several studies, couples who watch together report higher satisfaction. Results for watching alone are mixed and depend on who’s watching and what the other partner does.

A 2021 study of four samples of heterosexual couples, two surveyed once (200 and 207 couples) and two followed over time (77 newlywed couples and 277 couples), found that partners who watched together reported higher relationship and sexual satisfaction than partners who didn’t, for men and women alike. One partner’s solo viewing went with lower satisfaction for that partner, but only when the other partner used little or no porn alone. Differences in sex drive helped explain those gaps in solo viewing, which suggests that a mismatch in desire may be part of the story (Kohut et al., 2021).

In the 2011 study of 217 couples, shared use of sexual media also went with higher relationship satisfaction than solo use (Bridges & Morokoff, 2011). In the study of 240 couples, couple porn use went with higher sexual satisfaction for both partners but with none of the other measures of well-being (Willoughby & Leonhardt, 2020).

A study that followed a random national sample of 1,234 people in unmarried heterosexual relationships, with five mail surveys over 20 months, found that watching alone generally went with poorer relationship quality for men, such as less commitment and emotional intimacy, but with better relationship quality for women. People who watched more with their partner reported more intimacy. Both watching alone and watching together went with more psychological aggression between partners (Huntington et al., 2021).

A systematic review of research on women in committed relationships found that porn use had both positive and negative outcomes for women’s sex and relationship lives. Shared viewing added variety to sex, could help couples talk about sexual issues and helped improve intimacy (Litsou et al., 2021).

Whether watching together would help or hurt your relationship is a question for the two of you, and it’s worth asking rather than assuming.

Why Do Secrecy and Differences in Porn Use Matter?

Hidden use and big gaps between partners’ porn use both go with lower satisfaction in the research, and discovering a partner’s use can be painful.

In a convenience sample of 217 couples who filled in daily surveys for 35 days and questionnaires three times over a year, people whose solo porn use was unknown to their partner reported lower relationship satisfaction and intimacy that day, and lower relationship satisfaction at the start of the year. When their solo use was known, they reported more intimacy over the year, but their partner reported less (Vaillancourt-Morel et al., 2024). The study of 240 couples found that a partner’s knowledge of the use mattered little overall, with some evidence that unknown use went with less sexual satisfaction but more relationship satisfaction (Willoughby & Leonhardt, 2020).

In a study of 1,755 adult couples in heterosexual relationships, bigger differences between partners’ porn use went with less relationship satisfaction, less stability, less positive communication and more relational aggression (Willoughby et al., 2016).

The other partner’s view matters too. Two online surveys of young adult college women at a large public university in the southern US looked at how a male partner’s porn use related to the women’s well-being. Among 308 women, those who reported that he watched more often reported lower relationship quality, and those who saw his use as a problem reported lower self-esteem, relationship quality and sexual satisfaction (Stewart & Szymanski, 2012). Among 359 women, a partner’s porn use went with less relationship satisfaction and more psychological distress, lower trust helped explain both links, and the links held whatever the women’s own attitudes toward porn (Szymanski et al., 2015).

Discovery can hit hard. A 2002 article drew on 100 letters from women whose partners were heavy porn users. It described an often traumatic discovery and what the use came to mean to the women about their relationship, their own worth and desirability, and their partner’s character (Bergner & Bridges, 2002). The letters came from partners of heavy users, so they don’t describe every partner’s experience.

Honesty matters in this research too. In an online survey of 340 women in committed relationships with men who used porn, women who reported more honesty about porn also had higher satisfaction and less distress (Resch & Alderson, 2014).

How Can Porn Affect Your Sex Life Together?

Porn may shape what people expect and picture during sex. In US surveys of young adults, more porn use went with less enjoyment of sexual intimacy for men, and porn coming to mind during sex went with more appearance worries for women.

A survey of 487 college men aged 18 to 29 in the US, published in 2016, found that the more porn a man watched, the more likely he was to use it during sex, ask a partner for specific sex acts he’d seen in porn, picture porn to stay aroused and worry about his sexual performance and body image. Higher use also went with less enjoyment of sexually intimate behaviors with a partner (Sun et al., 2016).

Arousal from porn may matter differently from arousal with a partner. In a study of 309 people in romantic relationships, measured twice, two months apart, feeling aroused by porn went with declines in sexual satisfaction and in relationship quality and stability, while arousal from a partner wasn’t linked with changes in those outcomes (Lawless & Karantzas, 2024).

A 2019 survey of 706 heterosexual women aged 18 to 29 in the US looked at women’s side. Among sexually active women, more porn use for masturbation went with more porn coming to mind during sex, including recall of porn images. That mental activation, rather than viewing itself, went with more insecurity about appearance and less enjoyment of kissing and caressing during sex (Johnson et al., 2019).

In a convenience sample of 217 couples, 72 of them same-sex, who answered a short survey on each day they had sex over 35 days, half of the couples reported using porn on sex days. On those days, one partner’s solo porn use went with higher sexual distress in the other partner, while porn use on sex days, alone or together, showed no link with sexual satisfaction (Vaillancourt-Morel et al., 2021).

Not every couple finds porn harmful to sex. In the open-ended survey of 430 men and women, positive effects such as better sexual communication, more sexual experimentation and more sexual comfort came up often (Kohut et al., 2017).

If porn images keep coming to mind during sex, our guide on how to stop thinking about porn is a practical place to start. If erections fade with a partner, see our guide to porn-induced erectile dysfunction.

How Does Porn Affect a Marriage?

In US studies that followed married people over time, porn use went with lower marital quality for husbands and with a higher chance of divorce, though neither study can prove that porn caused the change.

One study used nationally representative data from the Portraits of American Life Study, which surveyed the same people in 2006 and 2012. Married people who viewed porn more often in 2006 reported lower marital quality in 2012, even after accounting for their earlier marital quality and other factors, and the link wasn’t simply a sign of earlier dissatisfaction with their sex life. That negative link applied to husbands, not wives, and the study’s estimates even showed wives who viewed porn more often reporting higher marital quality (Perry, 2017).

A 2018 study drew on General Social Survey panels from 2006 to 2014, which surveyed each person three times. Among 2,120 married Americans, the probability of divorce roughly doubled for those who began using porn between surveys, for women and men alike. Stopping porn between surveys went with a lower probability of divorce, but only for women. The link with starting porn was especially strong among younger people, the less religious and those who were happier in their marriage at the start. The authors discuss the possibility of reverse causation, meaning trouble in a marriage could also lead to porn use (Perry & Schleifer, 2018).

If faith or personal values shape how you see porn, our guide to pornography and spirituality looks at what research says about prayer, worship attendance and religious doubt.

When Does Porn Become a Relationship Problem?

Problems tend to show up when porn use feels out of control or clashes with someone’s values, and feeling addicted can matter more than how much someone watches.

In a sample of 1,036 people, how often they watched porn was more strongly tied to feeling out of control when their relationship and sexual satisfaction were lower. The authors suggest that dissatisfaction in the couple puts people at risk of reporting out-of-control use (Daspe et al., 2018).

Among 686 unmarried adults, feeling addicted to porn was strongly linked with anxiety about porn in the relationship, while porn use itself was only weakly linked with it. Feeling addicted also partly explained why more religious people felt more of that anxiety (Leonhardt et al., 2018). Feeling addicted is a self-rating, not a measure of how much someone watches.

In a large convenience sample from the US, watching porn alone went with lower relationship satisfaction and stability, even after accounting for a range of other factors. Feeling addicted partly explained those links, and they were stronger for men and for more religious people (Willoughby & Dover, 2024).

Values matter too. Grubbs and colleagues argue that feeling addicted to porn may often be better understood as moral incongruence, a gap between what someone believes about porn and what they do (Grubbs et al., 2019). In a study of 224 porn users in committed relationships in the US, the link between porn use and moral struggle depended on how strongly people disapproved of porn, and that struggle was in turn linked with sexual shame and relationship satisfaction (Miller et al., 2025).

In ICD-11, the World Health Organization’s classification of diseases, compulsive sexual behaviour disorder (CSBD, code 6C72) is an impulse control disorder: a persistent pattern of impaired control over sexual urges and behavior despite negative consequences or clinically relevant distress (Ince et al., 2026). DSM-5, the American Psychiatric Association’s manual, did not include the proposed criteria for hypersexual disorder, so porn addiction isn’t a DSM-5 diagnosis (Kraus et al., 2016). Only a clinician can make a diagnosis, but our guide to the signs of porn addiction includes a self-test you can take on your own.

What Can Couples Do About Porn?

Agree on what’s okay, be honest, talk about the needs behind the use, and get support if either of you feels stuck.

1. Agree on what’s okay. Decide together whether porn fits your relationship, and whether either of you will watch alone, together or not at all. Bigger gaps between partners’ use went with lower satisfaction in a study of 1,755 couples, so it’s worth deciding on purpose (Willoughby et al., 2016). Our conversation steps show how to start the talk.
2. Be honest about porn use. Agree ahead of time on how you’ll talk about slips, and focus on the next step rather than the last one. In a survey of 340 women whose partners used porn, more honesty went with higher satisfaction and less distress (Resch & Alderson, 2014).
3. Talk about the need behind the use. Ask what each of you gets from porn and what feels missing in your sex life. A study that built a scale of porn-use motives found eight common ones, including sexual pleasure, curiosity, fantasy, stress reduction, boredom avoidance and lack of sexual satisfaction (Bőthe et al., 2021). Our guide to the motives behind porn use explains each one.
4. Look at differences in desire. In a 2021 study of couples, differences in sex drive helped explain why one partner watched alone more than the other (Kohut et al., 2021). If that sounds familiar, a conversation about desire may get further than an argument about porn. Trying something new together may help. In studies of established couples, new shared activities went with higher desire.
5. Get support early. If one of you can’t cut back, or the same fight keeps coming back, bring in a therapist. Partner support groups such as COSA and S-Anon are another option, and our accountability partner page covers how to support someone who’s quitting porn.

When to Get Help

See a therapist if porn is causing conflict you can’t settle on your own. If there’s coercion, threats or illegal content, get help right away.

Couples therapy for porn-related problems has barely been tested in trials. Our treatment guide describes an approach many therapists recommend: individual therapy first, then couples sessions once the person in recovery has some stability.

Research on individual therapy is limited too. In a 2025 meta-analysis of 20 studies with 2,021 participants, most of which included cognitive behavioral therapy or acceptance and commitment therapy, psychotherapy improved problematic porn use more than control conditions did, but the authors found a high risk of bias (López-Pinar et al., 2025). A 2024 systematic review of treatments found 28 studies, only four of them randomized controlled trials, and most of the studies were of low quality (Roza et al., 2024).

If there’s coercion, threats, pressure to act out porn or illegal content, your safety comes first. Our partner’s guide lists who to contact. In an emergency, call 911 in the US or your local emergency number.

If you’re having thoughts of harming yourself, or you’re struggling to cope, call or text 988 (the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline in the US), or your local emergency number (988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, n.d.).

The Bottom Line

• Context matters most. On average, more porn use goes with lower satisfaction, but results vary from couple to couple.
• Gender differences are unsettled. Several couple studies found worse outcomes with men’s use, but meta-analyses disagree about which sex shows the link.
• How you use porn matters. Watching together went with higher satisfaction in several studies, while hidden use and big gaps between partners’ use went with lower satisfaction.
• Feeling out of control deserves attention. In one study, feeling addicted was more strongly tied to anxiety about porn in the relationship than how much someone watched.
• Get support, whatever you decide. A therapist can help you sort out what’s driving the conflict. Whether to stay together is a decision only you can make.

If you’re working on your own porn use, the TrueAlly app offers daily check-ins, an intimacy and mood tracker and accountability features, and its No Nut November challenge starts November 1. It isn’t a porn blocker or a substitute for couples therapy.

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