Urge Surfing: A Step-by-Step Technique for Porn Urges

The urge surfing technique is a mindfulness skill: you notice a porn urge, feel where it sits in your body, and let it rise and fall without acting on it.

Urge surfing comes from relapse prevention, the cognitive-behavioral model that treats urges and cravings as factors that can contribute to relapse. If you’re reading this in the middle of an urge, start with the steps below. For the wider process of quitting, our guide to quitting porn covers the bigger picture.

Urge Surfing at a Glance

Question	Short answer
What is it?	A mindfulness skill: notice an urge, feel it in your body and let it rise and fall without acting on it.
Where does it come from?	Marlatt’s relapse-prevention work. Bowen and Marlatt (2009) call it Marlatt’s “urge surfing” technique.
Does it work?	The evidence is early. One smoking study found fewer cigarettes smoked, though urges did not differ significantly (Bowen & Marlatt, 2009).
How long does it take?	About five minutes per round, by our estimate. No study has timed porn urges.
Is it enough on its own?	The research hasn’t tested it alone. Pair it with changes to your environment, support and, when needed, a therapist.
When should I get help?	If urges, mood or sleep are hard to manage, or you’re having thoughts of harming yourself, reach out to a clinician. In the US, you can dial 988.

What Is Urge Surfing, and Where Does It Come From?

Urge surfing means watching a craving as it builds and fades, on purpose, instead of acting on it or fighting it.

Think of an urge as a wave. It builds, peaks and, if you don’t feed it, eases. Bowen and Marlatt (2009) describe a brief mindfulness-based instruction set based on Marlatt’s “urge surfing” technique, with Marlatt and Gordon (1985, as cited in Bowen & Marlatt, 2009) as the source.

Marlatt’s relapse-prevention model treats urges and cravings as possible contributors to relapse, and Larimer, Palmer and Marlatt (1999) illustrate it with alcohol use. They summarize the definitions that Marlatt and Gordon (1985, as cited in Larimer et al., 1999) proposed: an urge is a relatively sudden impulse to engage in a behavior, while a craving is the subjective desire to experience its effects (Larimer et al., 1999).

Urge surfing grew out of that work. We could not verify who first coined the phrase, so this guide doesn’t name a single inventor. The technique is also a form of mindfulness: you pay attention to an urge on purpose, in the present moment, without judging it.

How to Do the Urge Surfing Technique, Step by Step

Notice the urge, name it, find it in your body, breathe while you watch it, then choose your next step.

The steps below are our practical version of the technique, not the exact instructions used in research.

Step	What to do	Rough time (our estimate)
1. Name it	Say to yourself, “This is an urge.” Don’t argue with it or try to push it away.	10 seconds
2. Rate it	Give it a score from 0 to 10. A number makes it easier to see whether it changes.	10 seconds
3. Find it in your body	Notice where you feel it, such as your chest, stomach, hands or jaw, and describe the sensation.	30 seconds
4. Breathe and watch	Breathe slowly, with longer exhales, and watch the urge rise, peak or ease. Let it be there without feeding it.	2 to 3 minutes
5. Choose your next step	Pick a planned alternative before you need it, such as a walk, a shower, a call or a short task.	1 minute
6. Check back	Rate the urge again and write one line about what you did, even if the urge didn’t fully go away.	1 minute

Each step is one thing you can do in the moment, so you don’t need to remember all six at once. For ideas to plan as your next step, see alternatives to porn.

When to Use Urge Surfing

Use it as soon as you notice the first pull, while the urge is still mild, and again if a stronger one arrives.

Plan ahead for the moments when you’re most likely to need it:

• At the first pull. Starting early gives you more room to choose before the urge peaks.
• When you’re alone and the urge feels urgent. Put the phone down and run the steps. That gives you something to do besides scrolling.
• When stress, boredom or loneliness is pushing you. Name that feeling as well as the urge. It can help you decide what you need next. The HALT check can show whether hunger, anger, loneliness or tiredness is part of the pull. For how anxiety and porn can feed each other, see porn and anxiety.
• If masturbation is part of the pattern. See how to stop watching porn and masturbating.
• After a wet dream. Waking up to one can leave you feeling guilty or on edge, but a wet dream isn’t a relapse. If an urge follows, surf it like any other.

Urge Surfing Script: A Guided Practice

Read this slowly, pausing for a few breaths after each paragraph, or record it in your own voice. At an easy pace it takes about three to five minutes.

It follows the same steps as the technique above, in a form you can follow with your eyes closed, like a short guided urge surfing meditation.

Get comfortable and let your eyes close or soften. Take one slow breath in, and let it out a little longer than it came in.

Notice that an urge has shown up. You don’t have to decide anything yet. Just say to yourself, “This is an urge.”

Now find it in your body. Where do you feel it most? Maybe in your chest, your stomach, your hands or your jaw. Describe it without judging it. Is it tight, hot, buzzing or restless?

Give it a number from zero to ten. Let the number be whatever it is.

Breathe slowly with the urge. Breathe in for a count of four and out for a count of six. You don’t have to make it go away. Your only job right now is to watch it.

Notice what happens. The urge may grow stronger for a moment. That’s normal, and it doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Keep breathing and keep watching, the way you would watch a wave come in.

Now notice any change, even a small one. Urges rise and fall. See whether the edges feel softer than they did a minute ago.

Before you finish, bring to mind the next step you planned: standing up, walking to another room, or texting someone you trust. You don’t have to act on it yet. You only need to have chosen it.

Take one more slow breath and rate the urge again. Whether the number went down or stayed the same, you stayed with the urge without giving in to it. That counts.

Urge Surfing Handout: A One-Page Checklist

Save this checklist as a screenshot so it’s ready the next time an urge shows up.

1. Name it. “This is an urge.”
2. Find it. Where do I feel it, and how strong is it from 0 to 10?
3. Breathe slowly. Make the exhale longer than the inhale.
4. Watch it. Let it rise and fall. Don’t argue with it, and don’t feed it.
5. Choose your next step. Walk, shower, call or text someone you trust.
6. Check back. Rate the urge again, and write one line about what you did.
7. Still strong? Repeat steps 3 and 4, then reach out or use your backup plan.

Add your own backup plan at the bottom of the list, so you don’t have to think of it in the moment.

What the Research Shows So Far

The evidence is early. The urge surfing study we found was about smoking, and porn studies so far have tested broader mindfulness and acceptance programs.

• Smoking study. In a randomized study of 123 undergraduate smokers who wanted to change, a brief mindfulness instruction set based on urge surfing did not differ significantly from a no-instruction control group on urge measures. The group that received it smoked significantly fewer cigarettes over the next seven days. The authors suggested the techniques may not reduce urges right away but may change how people respond to them (Bowen & Marlatt, 2009).
• Mindfulness-based relapse prevention. Bowen and colleagues (2014) randomized 286 people who had finished treatment for substance use disorders to mindfulness-based relapse prevention (MBRP), standard cognitive-behavioral relapse prevention or usual care. Both relapse prevention programs reduced relapse risk compared with usual care, and at 12 months MBRP participants had fewer days of substance use than either comparison group (Bowen et al., 2014). That trial was about drugs and alcohol, and the paper doesn’t mention urge surfing by name. A 2026 narrative review describes MBRP’s eight weekly sessions as teaching urge surfing among other skills (Peng et al., 2026). An umbrella review published the same year found preliminary support for mindfulness-based programs, including MBRP, for relapse and craving in alcohol, opioid and stimulant use (Ajami Bakhtiarvand & Abedi, 2026).
• Acceptance therapy for porn. Crosby and Twohig (2016) randomized 28 adult men, all but one of them members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, to a 12-session ACT program or a waitlist. Self-reported porn viewing fell 93% in the ACT group and 21% in the waitlist group. It tested the whole ACT program, not urge surfing alone (Crosby & Twohig, 2016).
• Small porn-specific pilot. Holas and colleagues (2020) gave an eight-week MBRP program to 13 men with compulsive sexual behaviour disorder. The study had no control group and no follow-up. Depression scores fell significantly, while anxiety and obsessive-compulsive symptoms fell only at a trend level. Weekly porn time fell significantly, from 200 to 39 minutes in the paper’s table, but that row lists only six participants, so treat it as a lead (Holas et al., 2020).
• One-year follow-up of ACT for hypersexuality. Ortega-Otero and colleagues (2026) followed 10 people who completed an eight-session ACT program for clinically significant hypersexuality. Reductions in hypersexuality and craving interference were still present at one year, and 9 of the 10 showed clinically significant reductions. The study reports on this one group only, and the authors call for controlled trials (Ortega-Otero et al., 2026).
• Meta-analysis of psychotherapy for porn use. López-Pinar and colleagues (2025) pooled 20 studies with 2,021 participants, most of them testing CBT or ACT. Psychotherapy improved problematic porn use, how often people viewed porn and sexual compulsivity more than control conditions, with large effects, but effects on craving were small. The authors reported a high risk of bias and called for randomized trials (López-Pinar et al., 2025).

Put together, no study we found has tested urge surfing alone for porn urges. The closest evidence comes from broader acceptance and mindfulness programs, and the individual trials we looked at are small.

Why Riding an Urge Can Work Better Than Fighting It

Trying hard to push a thought away can backfire, and staying with an urge gives you a different way to respond. These ideas come from lab studies and theory, not from porn research.

In the first experiment of a lab study, Wegner and colleagues (1987) had 34 undergraduates (14 men and 20 women) keep talking through a stream of consciousness for five minutes while trying not to think of a white bear, ringing a bell if they did. They could not keep the bear out of their thoughts. When later asked to think about the bear, the people who had tried to suppress it produced more thoughts about it than people who had been asked to think about it from the start (Wegner et al., 1987). A second experiment replicated this and found that people given a specific distracting thought during suppression were less preoccupied with the original thought later.

A theory of desire suggests why a competing task can help. Kavanagh, Andrade and May (2005) propose that intrusive thoughts about a desired target can be elaborated into vivid sensory images, and that this elaboration competes with other tasks for working memory. Their paper is a theory article, not a trial of urge surfing (Kavanagh et al., 2005).

In a 2015 study, 31 undergraduates carried iPods for a week and reported cravings when prompted by text message. The 15 randomly assigned to play Tetris for three minutes after reporting saw craving strength fall by a mean of 13.9 percentage points on a 0 to 100 scale, and the effect held across the week. The cravings included drugs (alcohol, nicotine and caffeine), food and drink, and activities such as sex, exercise and gaming. The reported effect was on craving strength, not on how often cravings happened, and a video game is not urge surfing (Skorka-Brown et al., 2015).

Together, these studies make a practical case for not fighting an urge head-on. None of them tested urge surfing for porn urges, so treat the idea as a reason to try the skill, not a guarantee. If the urge shows up as thoughts that keep coming back, see our guide to unwanted porn thoughts for steps aimed at the thoughts themselves.

What Research Says About Urge Duration

No study we found has timed how long a porn urge lasts, so there is no reliable number to give you.

Lab studies of smoking cravings offer some clues, though they don’t translate directly to porn. In a 2004 study of 40 nonabstinent smokers, craving after imagining a smoking scene was still significantly elevated at minute 15 (Heishman et al., 2004). In a 2010 study of 60 smokers, craving and mood changes from smoking cues and imagery appeared right away and remained unchanged for the 30 minutes measured (Heishman et al., 2010). Both studies triggered cravings on purpose, in a lab, in smokers, so they don’t tell you how long an urge lasts in daily life.

A 2025 study tracked 22 people for four weeks with app-based surveys. Among people with a high sense of moral conflict over porn, shifts in shame, guilt and mood after porn use and masturbation typically lasted several hours before returning to baseline (Henry et al., 2025). That describes how feelings shifted around sexual episodes, not the timing of a single urge, and the study was small and exploratory.

Because there is no reliable average, track your own pattern for a week. Note when urges start, when they peak and when they fade. Your pattern will tell you more about when to plan ahead than a general number would. For the withdrawal side of quitting, see our guide to porn withdrawal symptoms.

Common Mistakes and What to Try Instead

One trap is expecting an urge to vanish quickly. Urge surfing may change how you respond to an urge before it changes the urge itself (Bowen & Marlatt, 2009).

Approach	What it looks like	What the research shows
Urge surfing	Notice the urge, feel it in your body and let it rise and fall	Early. In one smoking study, the group taught it smoked fewer cigarettes, though urges did not differ significantly (Bowen & Marlatt, 2009). No porn-only trial found.
Distraction	Switch to a task such as a game or a conversation	In everyday life, three minutes of Tetris reduced craving strength by a mean of 13.9 percentage points, for drugs, food and activities including sex (Skorka-Brown et al., 2015).
Suppression	Try hard not to think about the urge	In a lab study, people who tried not to think of a white bear later thought about it more than people asked to think about it from the start (Wegner et al., 1987).
Giving in	Act on the urge right away	The aftermath can last. In people with high moral conflict over porn, shame, guilt and mood shifts after use typically lasted several hours (Henry et al., 2025).

• Waiting for full strength. Practice on milder urges first, so the steps feel familiar when a strong one arrives.
• Relying on the skill alone. Pair it with changes to your environment, such as moving your phone out of the bedroom or setting up filters. For practical options, see how to block porn.
• Handling it alone. If you’re struggling to stick with any of this, talk to someone you trust. Our guide on how to ask for help walks through how to start.
• Missing the bigger picture. If you want to understand why urges feel so strong, read why it’s so hard to stop watching porn.

Where Urge Surfing Fits Among CBT, DBT and ACT

Urge surfing comes from cognitive-behavioral relapse prevention and shares ideas with DBT and ACT. We found no verified source that names it a formal technique of any one of those therapies.

CBT. Marlatt’s relapse-prevention model is a cognitive-behavioral model. It names high-risk situations, coping skills, urges and cravings as parts of the relapse process (Larimer et al., 1999). Urge surfing is credited to that work, and it is a mindfulness skill that sits within the same tradition.

DBT. Distress tolerance techniques are a component of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). A 2026 trial protocol for OCD plans to test a 12-week distress tolerance program, tailored for OCD, and one of its session plans introduces urge surfing (Kumar et al., 2026). The protocol reports no results yet.

ACT. Acceptance and commitment therapy focuses on accepting difficult thoughts and urges rather than fighting them, and on acting in line with your values. Two ACT studies, one on porn use and one on hypersexuality, tested whole programs, not urge surfing alone (Crosby & Twohig, 2016; Ortega-Otero et al., 2026).

No source we checked calls urge surfing an ACT or DBT technique by name, so the honest answer is that it shares ideas with both. Ask a therapist which approach fits your urges.

Urge Surfing and OCD

Urge surfing is not a replacement for exposure and response prevention (ERP), the first-line treatment for OCD.

If unwanted sexual thoughts or images cause intense distress, and you feel driven to check, undo them or seek reassurance, a clinician can assess whether obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is involved. The International OCD Foundation calls ERP “the proven, most effective, first-line therapy for OCD in adults, children, and adolescents,” and says that ERP guided by a knowledgeable therapist helps people extinguish fears and eliminate compulsive behaviors (International OCD Foundation).

A 2026 trial protocol plans to compare a distress tolerance program that includes urge surfing with ERP, in 80 adults with OCD. It has no results, so it can’t yet tell us how urge surfing performs for OCD (Kumar et al., 2026).

Don’t use urge surfing in place of ERP or therapy for OCD. You can practice it as a skill alongside care, and a clinician can tell you whether your thoughts fit OCD.

When to Get Help

See a therapist or doctor if urges are hard to control most days, interfere with work, sleep or relationships, or come with intrusive thoughts you feel driven to check.

A therapist trained in CBT, ACT or ERP can assess what’s going on and help you build a plan. Our guides on porn addiction treatment and how to stop porn addiction with CBT cover next steps.

If you’re having thoughts of harming yourself, or you need emotional support right now, reach out to the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline in the US by dialing 988. Outside the US, call your local emergency number.

The Bottom Line

• Urge surfing is simple. Name the urge, find it in your body, breathe while you watch it and choose your next step.
• The evidence is early. One smoking study found fewer cigarettes without significant differences in urges, and porn studies have tested broader programs.
• Pair it with other steps. Changes to your environment, a planned next step and support work alongside it.
• Get professional help for OCD or ongoing distress. ERP with a therapist is the first-line treatment for OCD.
• Track your own pattern. Notice when urges start, peak and fade, and plan for those times.

If you want daily structure while you practice, the TrueAlly app includes guided meditations and daily check-ins, and its No Nut November challenge starts November 1.

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Sources

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